As I mentioned in my last blog post, this semester started off strangely. Things have settled down into a more-or-less regular routine at work, and yet, I still feel unsettled. I've been reading a book, "The Happiness Project," by Gretchen Rubin, which is inspiring me to look at my habits and tendencies, and to try to find a little more happiness in life by making simple changes. But the problem is, I don't know where to begin. There always seem to be an unsurmountable number of little tasks that need to get done. None of them are especially difficult, but they are time consuming, and I just don't want to do them. For example-- at the start of the winter break, I edited a whole bunch of videos from my October recital, posted them to my website, and was really happy to have made a dent in the project. But I still haven't finished, and now I JUST don't want to. So I wrote it on my white board as something that needs to get done, and every time I sit down at my desk that task (along with all the rest) stares at me. There are 11 tasks on my white board-- only 5 have been completed... and one has been there since August! Sigh.
Plus I haven't been practicing regularly. It's one of the things I love to do most, and yet, it always gets pushed behind things that MUST get done. Projects with deadlines, paperwork, emails, dirty dishes, etc. have all taken precedence over what I love. Due to the wacky start of the semester, none of my students were ready to play in Studio class on Wednesday. We sat around talking for a few minutes, and someone suggested that I play. So I did... but I was less than pleased with my performance, and frankly, embarrassed to play for my students at a level below my personal standards.
It's been the same thing with exercise. I finally went for a run again a few days ago (and it felt GREAT!), but now it's been so cold and slippery, I don't want to go out again. Thankfully I'm meeting a friend at the gym tomorrow. I'm hoping just getting myself over there will be the inspiration I need to go back? We'll see.
I don't generally blog about such things, but I'm hoping that by "putting it out there" I'll persuade myself to take care of some of these nagging tasks, and find some semblance of balance between work and home life. I know that I'm happier when I'm regularly practicing and exercising... so now it's just a matter of finding the time to make that happen.
How do you find balance?